Your Presence

I can still remember those nights
Those quite nights
When I would lay my head to His chest
And try as I might
My soul found no rest. . .
See
The simple beat of his heart
Pails in comparison
To the
Rhythmic melodies
Yours would play as you slept.
I can still remember those nights.
Those quite nights
When I would lay my head to Your chest
And with ease
Effortlessly
My soul
Found rest. . .
Silent I laid
and just listened.
While others counted sheep
I was counting
Each breath you took
Those breaths
Your breaths
With each I became more
Thankful
Just to be in your presence.

My Muse

Forever its been
Since I picked up a pen
And allowed
My soul to lose control
On paper.
But after I did
When I was finished
All that remained
Where bruises.
Black and blue
Black
The ink that punished
Blue
Lines ment to maintain order
Yet orderly is
Neater here nor there
In terms of
Creativity
or
Inspiration
cause
See what had happen was
For the first time
In a long time
I felt my heart begin to flutter
I couldn’t help but stutter
And its all because of you. . .
My muse

Coookies

He wanted it
And I told him
No
So now
Just cause
I refuse to
Allow
Myself to be
Used and abused
Strictly for physical
Gain.
He no longer wants to
speak
Got damn
Aint that a shame
Na
That’s just lame.
They see the cute
Little frame
And assume I have
No brain
Well guess what
I’m here to change the game.
These cookies
my cookies
R not no free
Samples
U can call me
Cocky
Conceded
Or full of myself
But my main focus
Is me
My physical
My mental
My spiritual health.
I’m saving it for marriage
And abstaining from sex
So from here on out
You can miss
Me with them
Nasty dirty ass
Pic of the penis text.
Mind Body and Soul
are in preparation
For my next major
Steps in life
The ones
Down the aisle.
I’m over this dating game
I’m officially waiting
For that man
The one
Who is
Going to change my last name
I no longer want to be a
Miss
But am instead
Trying to be his
Mrs.
Xoxox
Hugs and kisses

Get Back

Now
I understand
That somewhere along
The way we got lost
We got off track
But
Let’s squash all that
And get us back.
We both
Said some things
And
Did some things
We didn’t mean
All that considered
I know you miss your
Queen
Cause
I know I miss my
King
Please
Just let me know
Are you willing to forgive?
Let’s live and let live
And get back on the path to happiness

It Hurts

All I want you to do
Is sit.
Just sit and listen
To what I have to say.
I mean
please just be still
Be easy
And allow me to get this off my
Chest.
Now
I must caution u
That the words I’m about to speak
May damage your ego
And make your heart go
Weak.
But you know that they
Say about the
TRUTH
It hurts.
I would like to articulate that
I love you
And nothing will ever change that
But despite popular belief
I know in my heart
That I don’t want you back
thats truth baby that’s fact
I’m ready to close the cheaper
Hell
Burn the fucking book
All the butterflies
In the stomach
Along with the googley eyes
Lost in hour long
Daydreams
Them feelings have been shook
Shaken, there gone
My heart skips not beats
When your name is spoke
But instead now the taste of vomit
Fills the back of my throat
But you know that they
Say about the
TRUTH
It hurts.
I used to think that you
Where the one God made for me
And that one day
We’d meet in front of the priest
And exchange I do’s
But that was all just a dream
In all actuality
Our reality
Was nothing more
Then a Freddy Kroger sweet dream
A nightmare
But you know that they
Say about the
TRUTH
It hurts.
I want to leave you with this
If you hear nothing else I say
Today I need you to understand
That you are the
Worst thing that could
Happen to a female
The most awful type of man
I would not
Wish you upon
My worst enemy
But you know that they
Say about the
TRUTH
it hurts

First-Born

Some people would say that you never existed
That I was in no way far
Enough along to feel like
I do
But damn it
That just not true
You where someone to me
As so as I found
I was a mommy to be
But now I’m not any more because your gone
Lost to me forever
For reason unexplained
I will never get to
Hold you
Or see you smile
I
Never even had the opportunity
To give you a name
But
Im told that everything happens for a reason
And that for you to be taken
From
Is just Gods way of preparing me for something
Better
But what could
Have been better then my first born?
Even though I never got
To meet you
Mommy loves you.

Bad Dreams

You are the last person with whom I wish to speak
But
Can you please
Please grant me this one simple request
And stay out of my dreams
Its like
As of late
At night
When I lay down
To rest
From a long hard day
I’m confronted with images of you
Instead of relaxing and rejuvenating for the next day.
The sweet bliss of sleep
Comes not to me.
Instead I wake
Exhausted from
Having spent the night Running
Running
From bad dreams

Make My Heart Melt

At night I fall to my knees and pray
One for my family
One for my friends
And lastly
That the lord  bless this humble
And faithful
Servant
With
The man of her dreams
Amen!
Is that asking for two much?
But I don’t want
Just any kind of man
I’m talking
The kind who likes to read books
And looks good while he cooks
Naked
You know what I am sayin
One who writes letters and sends
Me flowers ever other day
But
Not no
Sugar coated maybe on the
DL type…
More of a
Mans man
With strong hands
And brains to match
There are too many
Mediocre things in life for
Us to let love to be one of
Them.
ALL I WANT
Is a good man
The man of my dreams
That guy who has
No kids
A job
And a two car garage
With at least a credit score
Of 675
And no
I am not all about the
Superficial
And its not a requirement
Of mine
That he has to be super fine
Just someone
I’m attracted
To. . .
That
(pardon my French)
Knows how to blow my whistle
The kind of man
With
Power in is love
And passion
In his stroke
I need a man
With the thunder down below
Who can work it real fast
Or work it
Real slow
He also needs to
Have mastered
The art of
Devotion
Cause I have been broken
And
I’m still
Damaged
With have visible scars
I need a man who wants
A women like me
Independent
Strong
Black
Educated
Yet
Tired, so tired
Of screaming independent
And ready to start depending
On him.
I understand that people
Have flaws
That why I’m
Not searching for
MR PERFECT
Just
the man of my dreams
The one who won’t even
have to say a word to
make my heart melt.

Not So Happy Ending

Sometime I wonder
Do
You remember
As vividly as me. . .
Those nights you made
Love
To my face with your
Fist.
The same nights you would
Softly caress me with
Insults
And tenderly bruise
my self esteem
With open handed blows
To the jaw. . .
I can
Still hear the
Words in my head
The night
That you said
If I ever told anyone
Or ever tried to run
That I would
End
Up
Dead . . .
Putting inside me such fear
I was scared to take flight
But fear alone
Was not enough
To make me stay and deal
With your stuff
Any longer. . .
Sometimes I wonder
Do you remember
As vividly as me
Fighting to stay alive
That night I woke up in the hospital bed
Bloody
Beat down
Half
Near
Dead. . .
One eye so inflamed
That I could not see
Past the pain.
Lips so swollen
I could not speak. . .
Bones fractured
And broken
Pain on this side
And that side
Lungs on fire
Body filled with
So much agony
All I could do was weep
Till my
Final
Heart
Beat. . .
Sometimes I wonder
Do you remember
As vividly as I do
The day I finally found the
Strength
To walk away
From the torture u called love. . .
I hope so
As I smile down from you in
Heaven up above. . .

Mixed Feelings

At night
Sometimes I lay awake
Eyes open
Staring off into bleak
Darkness
Thinking about
Him
And wishing that he was
Here
Laying next to me.
But I
Understand
Why that can’t be
And how
Circumstances
Made him leave
But I
Miss him.
The same man
This man
Who fucked it up for himself
When he had the chance to
Beat down the walls of greatness
He chose
To knock on the doors
Of hoes and whores
So he was cast from my garden of Eden
Never to return
But instead
Rome the wilderness